The narcissist can provide what looks like self compassion but as you know, the narcissist cannot provide genuine empathy towards others. Self pity is the only form of accountability a narcissist is capable of. The narcissist has no problem taking the blame for their own “thought to be” consequences for their actions if the narcissist feels out of control.
There are two reasons for this: the first reason being they can convince themselves they are in control still of the other person and secondly, to be the own hero in their own script of a movie/life.
The narcissist has no problems saying things like “i am no victim, everything that happened to me, I allowed”. Narcissists have no problems saying things like “I saved myself, no one cares about me”. These two statements directly suggest that the narcissist needs to be in control of the external circumstances as well as, the need to be the hero in their own self directed movie/life.
Despite the fact that the narcissist plots, plans and executes malignancy every breathe they take, they are able to delude themselves to such an extent still. I say “delude themselves” because at the end of the day, whether the narcissist is immediately psychologically effected or impacted later on in life, lying to oneself cannot reap positive cognitive effects. You cannot spend your entire life living a lie and expect to have perfect cognition and sound mind.