Prior to a very unwanted experience with a narcissist, you most likely did not know how one small and meaningless conversation can become something that can be used against you.
Let me give you an example of what type of conversation and its associated tactic I am talking about to you-
The narcissist-morning babe how are you?
You– Im good how are you?
The narcissist-I’m good. Just wanted you to know I hope your having a good day.
You-aww thanks babe.
The narcissist– so how is bob?
You– I do not know a bob?
The narcissist-ignores you for two weeks
Now, any reaction you give the narcissist from this point on in such a conversation will now –
1. Be used by the narcissist as the false reason for ignoring you
2. Provide the narcissist with what looks to be as “tangible proof” to backup his smear campaigning and his/her abusive behaviour. In the above example, the narcissist wants his victim’s reactions to display exactly how the conversation above was laid out-aka a normal reaction.
So, not only does the narcissist use such a small and normal thing like a meaningless conversation as something to exploit you with, the narcissist also uses your very normal reaction to his bizarre behaviour against you.
So how does the narcissist do this?
By training you to hold a very specific belief regarding your normal reactions to his odd and abnormal behaviour.
Yes, the narcissist is the one behaving oddly not you, the only difference is the narcissist is trying to program your unconscious into holding a belief that your reactions to his/her bizarre behaviour is the problem instead. This particular belief in itself creates a whole other pile of cognitive problems for a person