When life forces a person to have narcissist as a parent or to have two narcissist parents, you may have noticed that you have been indoctrinated to hate yourself. This is due to the amount of malignancy spewed onto you by your “parents” whether it be in the form of manipulation, name calling, gaslighting, etc.
Overtime, you come to learn that there is truly nothing you can do right or well enough when it comes to the narcissist. Yoy will learn that you will be blamed for the things the narcissist does wrong in his or her life. You will also be blamed for all the abuse the narcissist spews onto you. In the end, the narcissist parent ensures you harbour guilt, shame and self hatred and this is what is truly evil.
A reaction towards an action that holds ill intent, does not make you evil, it makes you devastated. You have experienced chronic and extensive psychological abuse by a person who is suppose to be your safe place in this big and scary world. Your reactions to the narcissists abuse towards you derives solely from never expecting that your supposed safe place would cause such shock and devastation.
You are reacting to evil, you are not evil.